I realize I am not alone with my feelings of frustration. The cardinal t-square has tightened. We are all being asked to work, work, work through our issues and grow up, become the adults in our world. If nothing else, the t-square will show us just how interconnected we are.
Okay, so where is the blessing in this configuration? This isn't even the chaos with which I deal so well. This is like hitting a brick wall and not accomplishing anything. Ouch! Hitting a brick wall hurts, and it makes me mad. I've sat here all morning with nothing to say-just staring at the wall. Is the lesson in the wall? On the wall? Through the wall?
All I hear is silence. Stillness... Now I vaguely hear a voice, a message coming through. It asks me, "What did you have planned today that was so important? What have you not accomplished that needed to be accomplished today?" Those aren't even hard questions. The answer to both is nothing. There is really nothing pressing right now. "So what is in the stillness that you are avoiding?" Oh, dear, I hate questions like that one! Like, why is it so hard for me to just sit in/with the stillness? Can I just allow everything to be exactly as it is without wanting to change it in any way? Can I be grateful for it??? Now there's a question I don't want to answer!
I know I'm not alone on this transit through the t-square. Friends, family and clients have called asking for explanations and for help. Many hoped I could take their cup away. The truth is that just as they were going through the shifts in their charts, I was going through my own. Nothing and no one was going to save us this time. We all had to face our anger and our fears and take total responsibility for all of our creations.
Now that we are nearing the end of this transit I can look back over the last several weeks and see that I did indeed make the shifts. Much of what used to matter to me just doesn't seem that important any more. I have learned what is truly important in my life and let go of what no longer served me. I am more grown up and wiser than I was four weeks ago, and in the process I've raised my vibration.
I know this has been a hard time for many, but I can honestly say I am grateful for what I've gained by partnering with the t-square. My hope is that you have been able to do the same.
Namaste!
You cannot imagine how much I relate to your words today! It is as though you took my pulse and wrote a blog.
ReplyDeleteMy life is wonderful, and I am grateful. But recently I have felt more and more as though two distinct personalities live within me. One seeks to achieve my wildest dreams and take the next step. It wants to work hard, be recognized and fulfill its destiny. It is never still.
The other personality is satisfied with the perfect abundance of the present moment. She is still. There is no pressure with her. She is content and has no need to impress anyone, especially herself.
Once, I would have identified this dichotomy as an angel and a demon. One on each shoulder, if you will. I would have told you that the achievement oriented personality was the angel and the satisfied, slothful one was the demon. Now, I am concluding just the opposite.
I believe the stillness is the rising of the Goddess within me. I believe what I am recognizing within myself is exactly what is happening in the universe; as above so below.
Caren-How beautifully put! And, yes, this is happening throughout our universe now. I believe that when we recognize the stillness within and it's importance to our wholeness we move through the chaotic times much more smoothly.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your very relevant comment!
Namaste!